Detoxing Your Mind (A Mercury Retrograde Story)
I don’t know about you, but I always get excited when I hear about an upcoming Mercury retrograde because I love to observe and document the effects of it in my life and in the lives of my family and friends. This past Mercury retrograde in Capricorn was no exception.
I would be lying if I said I did not think twice when I found out Mercury would be “chilling” in my twelfth house with Capricorn, but I was confident that with the amount of reading and preparation I undertook before the retrograde started I was able to ride out the effects as smoothly as possible. I needed to my communications department, Mercury, to be in top form if I wanted to be able to go out and finish 2016 on an all-time high.
When Mercury finally went into retrograde, I noticed it affect the place where I work really hard. We had things go missing in the post due to honest human error and our email system constantly kept crashing. It was not good time for a small law firm trying to tie up loose ends before shutting up shop for the year.
But before I could smugly plan what bar my friends and I were going to go first on New Years Eve night, my Capricorn in the twelfth house moved the Mercury retrograde spotlight onto me.
I became quiet. I did not want to talk to anyone. I felt alone.
However, I felt my senses heightening as I become more aware of my environment. I was able to pick up on subtle vibrations coming from other people.
Christmas with the Bruce-Haines clan last year was very interesting to say the least, as I was able to experience our family dynamics on a whole new level. At the same time, it felt like a chore for me to engage in conversation with my family and friends. I just wanted to be left to my own demise and wallow around in my own dark and twisted mind in my bed, but social norm dictated that I needed to be festive and friendly. My “fake it ‘til you make it” approach to surviving Christmas did not seem to fool anyone. Notably, I remember receiving a very discerning “you’ve changed” from my Scorpio Rising mother.
Fast forward to New Years Eve and I am back at my unit in inner-west Melbourne looking into my bathroom mirror trying to psych myself up to have a fun and memorable New Years night downtown. I made the final touches to my outfit and started making my way into the city.
I caught up with my friends and we began perusing the streets to find our first place to start celebrating the end of the year, but it just was not working for me.
The first thing that got to me was the crowd. Granted, I could not tell the whole of Melbourne to not come downtown because it will spoil my New Years celebrations (but if I could, believe me, Mercury retrograde or not I would), and I can put up being knocked around and squished by complete strangers while having fun. I just could not escape this funk I kept on burying myself in. It was like Christmas all over again. I felt like I was not myself, I became claustrophobic and I needed space to breath and think.
I needed to get out of here.
I made up the worlds worse excuse that I was “just feeling off” and left my friends bound for home, who at that stage were pretty intoxicated to care (in their defence, they did check up on me the next day). It felt right at the time.
Two hours before midnight and I am in my bed on my laptop watching a video of YouTube about the ‘Ten Most Haunted Buildings in the World’ while eating from a jumbo packet of chicken flavoured chips and drinking my third bottle of vanilla Coke. Outside, I can hear my neighbours being merry and fireworks are being let off in the distance by some rebellious locals who think they are immune from being charged by Victoria Police on New Years Eve for possessing and lighting fireworks. I bet the dogs howling and barking would love if that happened!
I was becoming the type of person I hate; quiet and introverted. This should only happen to me when I am at work, not when I am taking a well-deserved break from my usual day-to-day routine. I felt like I was missing something from this Mercury retrograde experience, so I consulted the stars again.
What I learnt that this period for me was a great time, for lack of a better word, to learn how to trust that I can make the right decision by myself and move forward.
Also, to let go of all the mistakes and regrets that I made over the last year (which there has been plenty) and to not let them consume you.
What peaked my curiosity is that Mercury retrograding in the twelfth house is said to bring you messages from your deep unconscious mind through dreams that I need to be aware of. I made some noteworthy observations that I will share in another story.
I very rarely waste a New Years and I am not happy that I did this year, but in reality, that is just one day of my life.
Mercury retrograde in Capricorn has provided me with an opportunity to detox my mind and conscious; to let go of all the emotional and mental baggage I have accumulated over the last year and begin 2017 with a new mindset and outlook on life. I honestly appreciate that now in hindsight.
I think I was the only person in my neighbourhood to start the New Year without a banging hangover!